Onion News Network: Election 08

Videos in this Playlist

1. 11

   

   Gunman Kills 15 Potential Swing Voters

   from The Onion

   3:06 | 38 views

   The Obama campaign is cautiously optimistic after initial reports indicated that most of the people killed were registered Republicans.

2. 12

   

   McCain Economic Plan: Marry Beer Heiress

   from The Onion

   2:05 | 67 views

   McCain pointed to his personal success in marrying a wealthy beer heiress to prove how the plan could benefit every American.

3. 13

   

   Obama Promises To Stop America's Shitty Jobs From Going Overseas

   from The Onion

   2:26 | 377 views

   In an appeal to working class voters, Barack Obama claimed his economic plan would save millions of backbreaking, mind-numbing shitty jobs.

4. 14

   

   Obama Called Snob, Huge Step For Blacks

   from The Onion

   2:22 | 78 views

   Overjoyed civil rights leaders say that Barack Obama has paved the way for future black politicians to be smeared as country club snobs.

5. 15

   

   Grizzled New Candidate Threatens McCain

   from The Onion

   3:05 | 132 views

   Experts predict that Joad Cressbeckler could tip the election to Obama by attracting people who want to vote for the most crotchety candidate possible.

6. 16

   

   Latest Poll Reveals 430 New Demographics That Will Decide Election

   from The Onion

   2:41 | 76 views

   A recent election poll indicates vegan independents and skydiving widowers are among the groups that will have a major impact in November.

7. 17

   

   'No Values Voters' Looking For Candidate

   from The Onion

   1:58 | 68 views

   Both candidates are stepping up their efforts to attract crucial 'no values voters' by abusing animals and murdering the elderly.

8. 18

   

   McCain Declines Secret Service

   from The Onion

   1:39 | 187 views

   John McCain claims that if elected he would save taxpayers millions by eliminating the Secret Service and defending himself instead.

9. 19

   

   In The Know Candidates Compete For Vital Idgit Vote

   from The Onion

   2:25 | 152 views

   Panelists discuss the idgit, or idiot, voter -- the unpredictable, uninformed demographic that invariably decides elections.

10. 20

    

    Mitt Romney Is Candidate Most Voters Want To Get Into Bar Fight With

    from The Onion

    3:10 | 141 views

    According to a new survey, whether a candidate seems like they could take a sucker punch in a drunken brawl is extremely important to voters.