Onion News Network: Today Now

Videos in this Playlist

1. 1

   

   Pretend You Care About Politics

   from The Onion

   3:00 | 8 views

   Our morning show's political correspondent offers tips on how you can seem informed about politics without picking up a single newspaper.

2. 2

   

   Bush Tours Damage Caused By Presidency

   from The Onion

   2:58 | 3 views

   President Bush will seek to comfort victims of his presidency as they try to make sense of the destruction he has caused.

3. 3

   

   Diet Author Advocates New 'No Food Diet'

   from The Onion

   3:29 | 33,890 views

   Today Now! talks with a diet book author who reveals that many things are surprisingly edible when you are driven mad by hunger.

4. 4

   

   Missing Child Likely A Prostitute By Now

   from The Onion

   2:57 | 83 views

   Today Now! utilizes computer technology to show a mother how rampant drug use and prostitution has ravaged her little girl's body.

5. 5

   

   Medical Miracle Man Lives Thanks To Heart Stolen From Dead Man

   from The Onion

   3:06 | 116 views

   Start your day with our morning show, Today Now! Join hosts Jim and Tracy as they welcome Dave Portman, a real-life Frankenstein's monster.

6. 6

   

   Evangeline Lilly Wins 'Best Wet T-Shirt Fight Scene' At Strong Women In

   from The Onion

   2:22 | 35,206 views

   Today Now!'s own Tracy Gill attended the Strong Women in TV Awards, which proves women on TV can be attractive and sexy.

7. 7

   

   The Onion News Network's Morning Show Today Now!

   from The Onion

   0:31 | 156 views

   You'll think you're still dreaming.

8. 8

   

   Fat Kid Successfully Avoids Ridicule By Swimming With Shirt On

   from The Onion

   3:11 | 286 views

   Today Now! brings you the inspiring story of Brian Peete, a fat boy who hid his obesity from other children at the pool by keeping his shirt on.

9. 9

   

   Child Bankrupts Make-A-Wish Foundation With Wish For Unlimited Wishes

   from The Onion

   2:24 | 24,906 views

   Today Now! has the story of an 8-year-old whose demand for never-ending wish fulfillment may force the Make-A-Wish Foundation to shut down.

10. 10

    

    Expert On Anteaters Wasted Entire Life Studying Anteaters

    from The Onion

    3:03 | 136 views

    Today Now! host Jim Haggerty consoles a severely depressed zoologist on the latest Critter Corner installment.