Onion News Network: Today Now

Videos in this Playlist

1. 21

   

   Man Who Crossed Nation In Balloon Only Wants To Talk About Horse Abuse

   from The Onion

   2:47 | 66 views

   Today Now! welcomes adventurer and balloonist Trent Montaug, who is determined to steer the conversation to the horrors of horse abuse.

2. 22

   

   NASA Simulator Prepares Astronauts For Rigors Of An Interview With Larry King

   from The Onion

   3:31 | 97 views

   NASA instructors offer a firsthand look at the training astronauts endure before they can withstand an appearance on Larry King Live.

3. 23

   

   Boy Scouts Offer To Give Breast Exams

   from The Onion

   2:58 | 8,239 views

   Two prospective Eagle Scouts explain how they are preventing breast cancer by helping women examine their breasts.

4. 24

   

   Disney Geneticists Debut New Child Stars

   from The Onion

   2:40 | 4,573 views

   Disney claims its latest batch of child stars is so lifelike, youll barely be able to tell they have no souls.

5. 25

   

   Real-Life Medium Not As Exciting As TV

   from The Onion

   2:46 | 189 views

   On Today Now! paranormal detective Leonard Higgs explains that using ghosts to solve crimes actually involves a lot of paperwork.

6. 26

   

   'Cosmopolitan' Institute Completes Decades-Long Study On How To Please

   from The Onion

   1:58 | 410 views

   Cosmo scientists have finally cataloged every single way to satisfy your man's carnal cravings by stimulating his secret sex zones.

7. 27

   

   Chef Prepares Omelet He Saw In A Dream

   from The Onion

   2:55 | 30,878 views

   Today Now! shares a delicious omelet recipe you can make at home with just a few simple and surreal ingredients.

8. 28

   

   Pretend You Care About Politics

   from The Onion

   3:00 | 210 views

   Our morning show's political correspondent offers tips on how you can seem informed about politics without picking up a single newspaper.

9. 29

   

   Bush Tours Damage Caused By Presidency

   from The Onion

   2:58 | 425 views

   President Bush will seek to comfort victims of his presidency as they try to make sense of the destruction he has caused.

10. 30

    

    Diet Author Advocates New 'No Food Diet'

    from The Onion

    3:29 | 34,815 views

    Today Now! talks with a diet book author who reveals that many things are surprisingly edible when you are driven mad by hunger.