Onion News Network:

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1. 1

   

   Insidious Worm Makes Unauthorized Purchases When Computer User Is Drunk

   from The Onion

   2:28 | 31 views

   Computer experts say individuals with upcoming bachelor parties or afterwork get-togethers are especially vulnerable to cyber attacks resulting in fraudulent late-night purchases.

2. 2

   

   How To Put The Spark Back Into Your Relationship With Your Cat

   from The Onion

   2:59 | 6,769 views

   Melissa Donley, author and cat relationship expert, visits Today NOW! with some tips for people in long term relationships with their cats.

3. 3

   

   Packers Fan Announces He Will Return To Drinking For Another Season

   from The Onion

   2:47 | 1,121 views

   Chris Lukawski, a longtime devotee of the Packers and beer, is confident his battered liver and family can handle another NFL season of unrestrained alcohol consumption.

4. 4

   

   Rep. Seeks Retroactive Immunity For Anyone Who Hit On First Lady Last Night

   from The Onion

   1:49 | 2,646 views

   Rep. Bruce Durant proposes a bill protecting anyone who who may have had a little too much to drink at a White House event and called Michelle Obama a"beautiful queen."

5. 5

   

   Crime Reporter: Man Had Sex With Wife Thousands Of Times Before Killing Her

   from The Onion

   3:01 | 225 views

   In this episode of 'Raw Justice,' a depraved sex fiend violated his wife's body almost weekly for ten years before finally murdering her.

6. 6

   

   Final Season Of 'Lost' Promises To Make Fans More Annoying Than Ever

   from The Onion

   2:50 | 6,418 views

   Producers say the last season of 'Lost' will contain an unprecedented number of twists and turns for fans to endlessly debate around people who don't care at all.

7. 7

   

   New Law Requires Women To Name Baby, Paint Nursery Before Getting Abortion

   from The Onion

   2:11 | 4,648 views

   In The Know panelists say more states should make decorating a nursery and choosing a baby name required steps in obtaining access to an abortion.

8. 8

   

   Biden Criticized For Appearing In Hennessy Ads

   from The Onion

   1:56 | 9,371 views

   Citing White House Pressure, Hennessy pulled the Biden ads saying"Joe will always epitomize the smooth, original style of our world class cognac."

9. 9

   

   Congo Approves Economic Stimulus Package Of AK-47 For Every Citizen

   from The Onion

   1:25 | 6,956 views

   Congo lawmakers are convinced the stimulus package will give Congolese the assault weapons they need to obtain clothes, food.

10. 10

    

    VH1 Reality Show Bus Crashes In California Causing Major Slut Spill

    from The Onion

    2:14 | 23,437 views

    Clean-up crews are hard at work after a VH1 bus carrying reality show contestants overturned, spilling 2,000 pounds of highly concentrated slut.