Onion News Network:

Videos in this Playlist

1. 31

   

   Congresswoman Says Botched Plastic Surgery Most Important Issue Facing U.S.

   from The Onion

   2:01 | 15,952 views

   Rep. Lynn Merriweather says bill will protect the millions of Americans who just want to appear as young as they feel on the inside, that's all.

2. 32

   

   [video] Evander Holyfield To Box Horse For Heavyweight Title

   from The Onion

   2:35 | 14,005 views

   Boxing officials are hoping the once in a lifetime chance to see Holyfield try to take down thoroughbred Evening Dream will reignite interest in...

3. 33

   

   Congressman Demands To Know Who Left Fish Sandwich To Rot On House Floor

   from The Onion

   2:46 | 399 views

   Rep. McCullough cannot even fathom the amount of contempt you'd have to hold for Congress, the American people to do something so inconsiderate.

4. 34

   

   Gymnast Shawn Johnson Put To Sleep After Breaking Leg

   from The Onion

   2:28 | 756 views

   After gym doctors confirmed the injuries were career-ending, Johnson's trainers said there was no reason to keep her alive.

5. 35

   

   China's Andy Rooney On Chinas Greatness

   from The Onion

   2:41 | 508 views

   The curmudgeonly Poyuan Wei thinks the only thing wrong with the Chinese Government is that they are not tough enough on dissidents.

6. 36

   

   Human Rights Group Campaigns To End Use Of Child Politicians In Africa

   from The Onion

   2:38 | 12,680 views

   Jim and Tracy learn that in nations like Sierra Leone children as young as 12 are forced to smile, wave, and shake hands until they drop from exhaustion.

7. 37

   

   Obama Axes Pentagon Plan To Build Billion Dollar Tank In Shape Of Dragon

   from The Onion

   2:05 | 53,382 views

   Supporters of the Pentagon's Dragon Tank urge Obama to reconsider the fearsome power of titanium nostrils mounted with long-range flamethrowers.

8. 38

   

   New Live Poll Allows Pundits To Pander To Viewers In Real Time

   from The Onion

   3:10 | 9,052 views

   In The Know's new live internet poll feature revolutionizes how pundits shamelessly cater to what viewers want to hear.

9. 39

   

   New Feedbags Let You Eat More, Move Less

   from The Onion

   1:55 | 747 views

   Fast food giant Yum! Brands believes its new feedbags will make it even easier for Americans to constantly be eating.

10. 40

    

    Taco Bell's New Green Menu Takes No Ingredients From Nature

    from The Onion

    2:22 | 24,084 views

    Taco Bell boasts zero environmental impact with their new menu which will rely solely on synthetic, lab-produced ingredients.